http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/ Just!fy My Thug Sun, 30 Jan 2005 00:45:03 PST http://www.blogdrive.com Copyright 2005. Poetry Gay and lesbian lifestyles Humor http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/68.html Sun, 30 Jan 2005 08:42:46 GMT I need a FRESH start!! I dunno... I told her how I felt. Was afraid I'd chose the wrong words or she'd think I was just bullshitin. I was nervous. I don't get nervous. Don't get intimidated easily... but I feel like if we were having the conversation in person she'd look right t h r u me. Not that that would be a bad thing, cuz then she'd see that I am sincere. But the question "why do you like me?" also brought the fact that I still don't know her extremely well to the surface. I have a general idea about her. So yeah, I HATE to put myself out there... but I'll do it if I feel the person... (more) http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=68 http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/67.html Tue, 25 Jan 2005 03:13:00 GMT I wish I smoked weed sometimes.... Ummm... today was just not my day. Nothing went right except that I can now breathe thru my nose. No really, that was the highlight.... I'll probably cry a lil more before I go to bed. I feel it trying to creep up. Shit. Thats why I went to sleep in the first place. So I OWE Bowie money.... can't figure out why. They didn't give me the same loan amount from last semester. WTF?! If its not one thing... its another. I don't think I'ma be able to do the job I applied for if they put me in one of the dorms.. Blower. I really needed that. Her death... (more) http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=67 http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/66.html Mon, 24 Jan 2005 11:13:51 GMT I will break down what I mean. When things affect me or hurt me, I can't just let it be known because that makes me feel vulnerable. I just gotta pretend that I'm okay. It was how I was raised... conditioned. My parents, I love them dearly, had a hand in it. I remember once when I was in high school, I came home crying hysterically because a friend of mine (Leander) had been shot and killed. When I told my mom, all she did was ask was he my boyfriend and if I kissed him. I was so confused, like... what does that have to do with anything!? I was in pain. She didn't care. When I had my... (more) http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=66 http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/65.html Fri, 21 Jan 2005 03:25:54 GMT Interesting. I think that I tried to be stronger than I really was. I tried to pretend like I really didn't care. I even made some pretty callous (sp?) comments about the situation. But here is how I feel: Yes, I had sex with your girl. No, I am not proud of it. Yes, it was good. No, it wasn't worth me feeling like this or her feeling bad either. I listened to what you had to say because I felt like I owed you. But I think you are doing whatever you have to do to keep her in your love and that includes being "cool" with me. Kinda like facing your demons because you think there is... (more) http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=65 http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/64.html Mon, 03 Jan 2005 08:11:39 GMT Dear "Teneur" (that is my petname for you).... You're funny. You don't want to feel like the bad guy... thats too much like excepting responsibility for your actions. I'm still having a hard time finding the proper words to say what I mean. I don't want to be misread by you. I admit my part. Same on me for not saying No. Teneur... You want it simply put? You have cheapened an otherwise, passionate experience. Maybe I should have seen it coming, as I was pretty much "unfinished business". But you know what they say, ignorance is bliss. To be blissful is to be happy... so for a few happy... (more) http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=64 http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/63.html Fri, 31 Dec 2004 17:44:41 GMT I don't know where to start or what happened... I'm trying to forget but I keep re-capping and... seeing our moments all over again... feeling your hands all over me and.... You can't read my mind but, man... you can read my faces, so although you're gone.. i'm still feeling remnants.... traces of where your tongue was... me grabbing your head.... how you liked the way I tasted... now this is a constant craving.... Oh well....... I dunno where that came from but that was all I could really think to write. I want something like that with whoever I fall in love with... http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=63 http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/62.html Wed, 22 Dec 2004 09:22:00 GMT gotdamn... where do i start? i'll start where she was left, unending... still living but mentally gone from me. so i angry at the world's imperfections and can't figure out my own direction cuz she was a good woman but... her life has been left to dangle at the whim of some unknown thread of indignity. i feel defeated. i've been enduring pain and learning pain...... tryin not to let it stop me, i get spurred on by pain and let it continue to nip at my heels. it feels like a piece of me dies with each advance a woman makes towards me knowing there isn't anything of her left to give... (more) http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=62 http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/61.html Sat, 18 Dec 2004 07:48:00 GMT They had taken me from Taking time out for me to Barely able to breathe cuz I'm just.... That hurt. And when the curtains pulled and The show was over and I found myself standing in love All by myself I had lost.... pieces Of myself. And acquired.... pieces Of someone else.... Just really wanted to be put back together cuz... I didn't think I was strong enough to do it By myself. Kept thinking if I prayed hard enough Somone else would do it for me, God would have to send me my angel. This was more than being lonely. As soon as I realized Just... (more) http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=61 http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/60.html Fri, 17 Dec 2004 07:16:17 GMT Her Warmth.... My Warmth.... There are times when I think of her and the thoughts make me involuntarily close my eyes.... exhale. My mind is waiting for her touch, yearning her natural scent.... My mouth waters for her tastes, I'm baking up all kinds of lovemaking scenarios.... I.... I want to wait. I.... I want to be worth her time--- then go ALL night.... into the morning... coming up for air within the following week.... Peeking into next month sometime. But the limitless conversation between our eyes and bodies will never be enough. I want her so much that I am in no rush.... If... (more) http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=60 http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/archive/59.html Wed, 15 Dec 2004 19:46:19 GMT Feeling better......... I don't really know what to say about whats going on or how i feel cuz my mood changes from day to day. Sounds sane, i know... lol. I think that there is more to her distance than she is ready to tell me.... But we were on the phone last night for a whiiiile.. I'm feeling better about her in regards to me... well. In regards to us. My Darian's back! Thats my big brother, my kindred spirit. Lol.... He's back from grad school for a few weeks! http://myntaltouch.blogdrive.com/comments?id=59